When I come home to my wife at the end of the day, I know better than to ask, "What did you do today?"
On the days she doesn't work, she accomplishes a myriad of tasks that magically make the lives of everyone in our family run smoothly. Bills are paid, appointments made and events planned. No one is left waiting for a ride to school, music lessons or practice. No one is hungry.
Motherly magic is largely invisible. We don't appreciate it until it's gone. The days when my wife is out of town are long days indeed.
Good parents teach their children the essentials, and they teach best by behaviour rather than words. We internalize - for good or ill - the lessons of our parents.
Mother's Day has been a difficult time for my sister and me since our mother's unexpected death 10 years ago.
My mother modeled unconditional love. She appreciated and expected the best in us but forgave us for being imperfect and making mistakes. She lived a life of selflessness, generosity and compassion. Her circle of concern seemed to expand without boundaries. She inspired us to give the best of ourselves. This was not to please her because her love was unconditional.
When someone appreciates the best in you, you come to see it yourself.
I imagine how different life would have been had my mother been alive for the past 10 years. She would have loved spending time with my children. She would have been there for all their sports, recitals, school concerts and graduations. She adored them as little children, and she would have adored them as they grew.
We would have enjoyed her great meals and all the holidays that she would make special, and every one of my birthdays would have continued to be a celebration.
But I realize that my mother has been with me all along. Though she has not been here to teach my children, I have tried to pass her lessons on to them. I can only give forward what she has given to me.
I often remind my patients to be good moms to themselves. I ask them to channel their inner mom.
We all have one deep down inside - just like the inner six pack. Some have to take a big breath in and dig deeper.
Most of us tend to be hard on ourselves - critical, judgmental and unforgiving. We could all use a little more compassion for others and ourselves.
Many of us don't give ourselves the care we need.
Here are four ways to be a better mom to yourself - direct orders from your inner mom.
? Go to bed. Make sure you get enough rest. You'll perform better at school and work in the morning, and you won't get run down and sick.
? Go out and play. Get some physical activity every day. It's essential for your emotional and physical wellbeing.
? Eat your vegetables. Don't skip meals and don't ruin your appetite with junk food. Though not everyone can eat an early breakfast, we all need regular snacks and meals to get through the day.
? You can do better. Your inner mom may not be talking about your partner or spouse. See the best in yourself and be inspired to do your best. Move towards your positive potential.
Dr. Davidicus Wong is a family physician at the PrimeCare Medical Centre. You can read more about achieving your positive potential for health at davidicus wong.wordpress.com.
