First a disclaimer: I've tried retiring from buffet eating, and my "retirements" seldom last long.
That's because I'll hear of a great one opening up not far away and there I go, trying to relive past glories when, sadly, age has caught up with me.
I know I'll never be able to top that US Thanksgiving turkey buffet in Kansas City where I had three plates of whip cream as my dessert, that sushi all-you-can-eat in Richmond where one of my buddies still is banned from returning, and the American casino buffet where I spent the last hour just eating coconut and coffee ice cream.
So when Brenda Smith, executive marketing manager at the Grand Villa Casino, asked me to try out one of their buffets, I came out of "retirement," knowing that my expectations of greatness would never be fulfilled, but my stomach would certainly be filled.
I brought along my "designated eater," Chris Grewcutt, who I know as my mechanic, football friend and all-around good guy. When Chris and I got to the Scala Lounge one recent weekday, the serving staff was just getting ready for the $12.95 Texas Tuesday buffet. We could see heaping amounts of chili, brisket, ribs and chicken being put out for the crowds that would start their eating at 5 p.m.
That gave us time to talk to Joanne Brett, food and beverage service manager at the Grand Villa Casino, and Brett was nothing short of entertaining.
"Our buffets are quick and fast and a great value," said Brett.
We go to the food line, and I let Brett put my plate together for me. She starts with two huge ribs, adds a bit of chicken, and, for the pièce de résistance, she gets a bun and piles on generous portions of brisket to create a great sandwich for me.
I believe there were some salad options at the end of the table, but as per my anti-vegetable stance, I went nowhere near the green stuff.
Chris loves chili, so he piles more of that on his plate. Brisket is also piled high on his plate, and he does add some potatoes and corn.
The meat is fantastic, and I'm about to go up for more when Brett said she has to show us something off their à la carte menu.
Now this is something that isn't part of the buffet, but well worth the $11. The prawn and proscuitto flatbread is one of the lightest, yet most filling, meals you'll ever have.
"For people who don't want the buffet, the lunch and dinner menu has a little bit of everything," said Smith. "You can enjoy filling favourites such as our Grand Villa burger, clubhouse sandwiches, perogies and the flatbread."
Yes Brenda, hard to argue that logic, but we're in buffet heaven as I go back for some chili and some more brisket.
There are three other themed buffets available at the Scala Lounge, and they include the $9.99 Taco & Fajita Wednesday; the $12.95 Flavours of the World buffet on Friday, with a new theme every week; and the $11.49 Scrumptious Brunch buffet on Sunday.
"The Friday buffet is always interesting," said Smith, who said the themes have included Mediterranean, Caribbean, French, Asian and everything in between.
"We have a very multicultural cooking staff so when we do something like Indian food, we can draw upon our staff for authentic dishes," said Smith.
We actually skip dessert - the flatbread had to be eaten - but for $13, you won't find a more affordable meat buffet in the city.
I almost want to ask Brett and Smith to carry me to the car because I'm stuffed by the end of my meal.
And yes, I have gone back into "buffet retirement."
